The Heart of the Matter
by Bystander of Ultimecia
Summary: Seifer has returned to Balamb for the first time since the Ultimecia War. He is greeted with only violence and hatred. With no one to turn to, he seeks comfort in the one person he leasts expects. *YAOI* R/R please!


Title: (The Heart of the Matter)  
Written By: Bystander of Ultimecia  
Category: Games/Final Fantasy 8  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Rating: R  
Summary: Seifer has returned to Balamb for the first time since the Ultimecia War. He is greeted only by violence and hatred. With  
no one to turn to, he seeks comfort in the one person he least expected. *YAOI*  
  
  
  
  
*Chapter One*+  
Welcome Back.  
  
  
+Possibly the only chapter, but, again, I'm not sure.  
  
  
  
*******************************************************  
  
The town had not changed much in the past three years. They had added a few new resturants and stores, but that was basically  
it. Otherwise, everything was exactly as he remembered it.   
  
Seifer made his way to the pier, a place where he had always retreated to when he needed to get away. He knew that he probably  
shouldn't be here, but, he couldn't help it. He had no where else to go. Nothing else left for him. Besides, it had been *three* years,  
surely to god it didn't matter anymore. He hoped against hope that no one would disturb him.  
  
He sat down at the edge, letting his feet dangle off of the dock. The night sky was lit up with millions of stars and not a cloud in  
sight. Seifer didn't enjoy the beauty of it, though, his mind was elsewhere.   
  
Three years. Three years of running, of being attacked by almost everyone he saw. In three years, only one person had not screamed  
at him, acted uncomfortable around him or fought him, when they saw him. Jordyn. He had met her in Dollet two years earlier. A   
group of about seven had ganged up on them and she had shown up, waving her sword around, chasing them off. For some reason,  
she didn't seem to care that he had tried to take over the entire world. When he had told her, she had simply shrugged and laughed,  
saying that she had heard of worse, although Seifer had yet to imagine anything worse than that.   
  
It had been Jordyn who had convinced him to come back to Balamb. "Surely everyone has grown up a little and gotten over it," she  
had said when he had made feeble protests against going.   
  
So, here he was. Back to where he began so many years ago. He had promised Jordyn that he would go to Garden, but he wasn't   
sure if he could. He didn't know if he could handle the rejection. But, his life was meaningless without it. SeeD was his life. Not  
that anyone could tell, as many times as he'd failed the tests. He knew he could of passed the test anytime he had wanted to,  
but he got the distinct impression that no one wanted him as a SeeD, so he had failed time and time again.   
  
Seifer sighed and studied his reflection in the water. His short blonde hair looked slick in the image, his eyes dull and empty. Hell,  
he looked pure exhausted, which he was. He was tired of running from everyone and everything. He was tired of fearing for his life  
everytime he stepped foot outside of his residence. It was bullshit. So, he had made a mistake, *everyone* made mistakes at least  
once in their lives, didn't they? But Seifer imagined their mistakes weren't as big as his. Their mistakes didn't cause as much damage  
and hurt as his had.   
  
Seifer sat by the docks for several hours, unaware of the time, and was surprised when he saw the sun rising in the distance. He  
glanced wearily at his watch: 5:37 A.M.   
  
He fumbled lazily to his feet, the sleepiness quickly overcoming him. Well, at least he hadn't been bothered.   
  
"Hey, I recognize you.." a rough voice called from behind him. He turned around to see a gruff-looking man standing behind him.  
  
'*Damn*, spoke too soon...' he thought bitterly to himself.   
  
"Yeah? So?" he asked, appearing unconcerned but secretly hoping to himself the man would just go about his buisness.   
  
No such luck. The man took a step closer to him, "You're Almasy, aren't ya?"   
  
"And?" Seifer kept his voice calm and cold. "What's your point?"   
  
"You got a big mouth for someone who fucked everyone over." the man answered.  
  
"Yeah, well..."   
  
"You lookin' for trouble?"   
  
Seifer tensed his shoulders, knowing what was coming next. God, he had been through this *so* many times before. It was almost  
a routine now. "Why? Are you here to give it?" he asked, his voice tight.   
  
"I think you need to learn a lesson, boy. You just can't try to take over the world and get away with it."   
  
"And you think you're the man to teach me this lesson, right?" Seifer asked, amused, even though he knew he was fixing to get  
his ass beat.   
  
"Yeah," the guy answered, moving even closer to Seifer, closing his hand into a tight fist, "I think I am."   
  
"Come on, then. Take your best shot." Seifer had already distanced himself from the situation. His mind wandered. He had learnt  
the hard way not to dwell on these things. If he dwelled on them, then he would of been dead a long time ago. He just took it and   
went about his buisness, as if nothing was wrong.   
  
It didn't last long. Seifer didn't even bother trying to fight back. It just drew out the process. Afterwards, he sat against a wall, bleeding  
from various injuries, his entire body aching and sore.   
  
"Seifer, right?" a cheerful voice asked, disturbing him from his thoughts.   
  
Seifer peered up at the woman who was speaking to him. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place her if his life depended on  
it.   
  
"What?" he growled, sounding harsher than he meant to.   
  
She knelt beside him, "You look pretty hurt there, are you O.K.?"  
  
Seifer waved her away, "I'm used to it by now, just give me a few moments to catch my breath and I'll be fine."   
  
"Why don't you come to my house? You can get a shower, a nice meal, and some sleep, which you look like you could *really* use.  
And I think I might have some clothes that will fit you, I have a son about your age."   
  
Seifer looked down at his clothes, which were torn badly. "I, uh.." he didn't know what to say. He hadn't had anyone speak to him  
like a human being since Jordyn. "I don't think that'd be a good idea.. I'd just cause trouble."  
  
The woman shook her head and helped him up, "Nonsense. Let them think what they want. They don't bother me."  
  
Seifer didn't offer any more protests. He was too *tired*.   
  
The woman took him to a small house near the center of Balamb. Once inside, she pointed upstairs, "There's a bathroom upstairs,  
second door on the right. Go in and take a shower and I'll gather you some clothes and fix you a decent meal."   
  
Seifer nodded his thanks and went up to the bathroom. He slowly stripped his clothes off. His body was *so* incredibly sore, so this  
was a great effort. He turned on the shower faucet and let the water heat up, until it was hissing and causing steam to fill the tiny  
room. He quickly stepped inside and shut the door, letting the water pour all over his aching body. He opened a bottle of shampoo  
and poured some into his hands. He lathered it into his blood-stained hair and rinsed it off. He then proceeded to wash his body  
as quickly as he could manage. He blankly watched the blood swirl down the drain. Jesus, there was *so* much. He hadn't realized  
the full extent of his injuries before, but now he felt it.   
  
He could barely stand and he had to use the shower door as support when he turned off the water and stepped outside.   
He grabbed a soft yellow towel that laid nearby and dried himself off, wrapping the towel loosely around his slim waist. He moved   
slowly over to the mirror, looking at his reflection for only a second before turning away. He had several cuts on his face that he   
hadn't noticed before. Oh well, a few more *wouldn't* hurt, now would they?   
  
There was a soft knock on the door. "Here's some clothes for you, they *should* fit," the woman said, holding an arm out, clothes  
in hand. Seifer gratefully took them, "Thanks," he mumbled.   
  
"Yeah, yeah." the woman said, closing the door behind her. Seifer inspected the clothing. A pair of long shorts and a blue t-shirt.  
They looked even more familiar. Something about them.. about the woman.. about this house.. suddenly, it hit Seifer and he   
slipped to the floor and groaned. Of course, he should have realized. This was Zell Dincht's house. The woman was Zell's mother.  
And the clothes were Zell's clothes.   
  
Seifer smirked to himself, 'Now wouldn't chicken-wuss just love the idea of me being in his home, wearing his clothes, being   
fed by his mother?' The thought was amusing because Seifer knew it would drive Zell insane. Why? Simple. Zell hated him.   
  
He couldn't really blame Zell for hating him, though. Seifer had constantly teased Zell and put him down. But, ahh, what the hell?   
What did it matter now if Zell hated him or not? After all, the *entire* fucking world hated him, what would one more person hurt?  
  
Seifer quietly slipped the clothes on, which were a little small but would work, and headed back downstairs, where he was greeted  
with a hot plate of food and a glass of lemonade.   
  
"Mmm... this is delicious.." he muttered, eating quickly.   
  
"Whoa!" the woman said, laughing, "Slow down there.. there's no rush!"   
  
Seifer stopped eating a blinked at her for a few seconds. He then took a drink of the lemonade, wiped his mouth and stood up. "Well,  
thank you very much for everything.. but I really should be going."   
  
The woman shook her head, "I'll hear nothing of the sort.. you'll stay here tonight and decide what to do in the morning."   
  
Seifer raised an eyebrow, 'Very determined, I see where Zell gets it now,' he thought to himself.   
  
He yawned, the sleepiness he had felt earlier falling back on him, "Well.. I guess.. I *am* pretty tired..."   
  
The woman nodded towards the living room, "The couch is already pulled out and made up. Go get some sleep, alright?"  
  
"Alright," Seifer responded, making his way to the living room, "And.. again.. thanks.. alot.." Seifer called out over his shoulder.   
  
Seifer was dead asleep before his head even hit the pillow. He hadn't realized exactly *how* tired he really was. For the first time  
since he had came to Balamb, he slept soundly.  
  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LET SEIFER ALMASY STAY HERE?!" came a loud voice, jarring Seifer out of his sleep. It took him  
a couple of seconds to remember where he was and what had happened. He groaned and sat up slowly, listening intently.   
  
"Now, Zell, calm down..."  
  
"Ma! The guy's a lunatic! He could of hurt you or something!!" Seifer recognized Zell's voice, angry and betrayed. Seifer sighed to   
himself, he knew he shouldn't of let her talk him into staying the night.   
  
"Zell, you sound just like everyone else. He's not a lunatic. He's a *very* sweet boy.."   
  
Seifer heard Zell laugh bitterly, "Yeah.. Seifer.. sweet.. sure.. *whatever* you say, Ma..."   
  
Zell's mother sighed, "I expected you, of *all* people, to be a little more open-minded, I raised you better than that. It's been several  
years now and people change. "  
  
Zell's voice exploded, "People like Seifer never change! They're out for themselves and their own purposes and they always will be!  
They don't give a damn about anyone else!"   
  
"Zell, please... lower your voice.."   
  
"But, Ma!"  
  
Seifer couldn't take this anymore. He quietly made his way to the bathroom, where his torn clothes still lay discarded and slipped  
them on. He glanced in the mirror, ran his fingers through his hair and headed back downstairs. He hoped to get away without being  
seen. No such luck, though.   
  
"Seifer?" Zell's mother asked, coming into the living room, with an angry blonde trailing close behind her, "Where are you going?   
Don't you want any breakfast?"   
  
"You're gonna *feed* him, too?!" Zell's voice was shrill.  
  
Seifer lifted his hand and shook his head, "It looks like I've already caused enough trouble, but, thank you.. for everything.."  
  
Zell's mother looked at him pleadingly, "Oh, come on. One meal won't hurt."  
  
Zell stared at Seifer angrily, watching his reaction very closely. "No, I can't.. I'm sorry.." Seifer said quietly and bolted from the house.  
  
He hadn't gotten very far when he heard his name being called. "Seifer! Wait! Damn you, I said wait!"   
  
Seifer paused and closed his eyes. He didn't feel like dealing with *this* right now. "What?" he asked wearily.   
  
Zell caught up to him, his face red from running, "What do you think you're doing here???"   
  
Seifer smirked at Zell, "I didn't know you owned the *entire* town, Dincht. Last time I checked, it was a free place."   
  
Zell narrowed his eyes, "Look, you might of fooled Ma, but I know better. I *know* what you are."   
  
Seifer rubbed his temples, "And what *am* I, Zell? Please, enlighten me.."   
  
"You're just a cold, selfish little boy who doesn't know a damn thing and likes to pretend he does."   
  
"Yes, Zell. Congratulations. You've hit the bullseye. You know me better than I know my own damn self." Seifer's voice was   
emotionless.   
  
Zell peered at Seifer curiously, "You haven't shown anyone anything else."  
  
"What's there to show, huh? What's the fucking point of even *trying* to be nice to any of you? Don't you think I know how you all   
feel about me? You want me to act polite to people who hate my fucking guts?"   
  
"We don't like you because *you* made the decision."   
  
Seifer rolled his eyes, "Yes, it was all *my* choice."   
  
"It was!" Zell insisted, "You were the one always teasing us, making fun of us, fighting with us and causing trouble."   
  
Seifer began to walk off, "Whatever, Dincht. Just.. go away.. O.K.? You've made your point. Loud and clear. I get it. So, just leave  
me alone."   
  
Zell grabbed him by his arm, whirling him around and forcing Seifer to look at him, "What's your problem?"  
  
"What's YOURS?" Seifer asked, his voice raising.   
  
Zell let go of his arm and glared icily at him, "No, you haven't changed at all. Ma's wrong."   
  
"Whatever.." Seifer said, walking away.   
  
"You know something, Seifer?" Zell called after him, "You're beginning to sound alot like Squall!"   
  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Seifer found himself at Balamb Garden's gates. He didn't remember walking all the way, but there he was. He looked up regretfully  
at the massive building. His home. Well, not anymore.   
  
He sighed and sat down by the entrance. There was a time when Garden was his entire life. Hell, it *still* was. Who was he fooling?  
If they'd let him back in, he'd jump at the chance, but he knew that would never happen. Not *now*.   
  
He sat there for a few moments, lost in thought, when he heard several voices coming up.   
  
"That was fun!"   
  
"Whatever..."  
  
"Oh, come on! It *was* fun! Wasn't it, Quisty?"   
  
"Uhhhhhhhhh..........sure, Selphie.. lots of fun.."   
  
"Oh, you guys are no fun!!!"   
  
Seifer knew the voices immediatly, even after all these years. Selphie. Quistis. Squall. He prayed that they wouldn't notice him. But,  
once again, his luck failed him.   
  
"Huh?" Selphie stopped dead in her tracks, her mouth open. The three of them gaped at Seifer.   
  
"Well, hello yourselves." Seifer said, fighting to keep his voice calm.   
  
"Seifer?" Quistis stuttered after a moment of ackward silence.   
  
"The one and *only*...." Seifer answered quietly.   
  
"What are you doing here?!" Selphie asked loudly.   
  
"What does it look like I'm doing?"  
  
The three were silent. Seifer wasn't in the mood to deal with it. He quickly stood up and began to head off, waving to them from  
behind. "See ya later." he called out, leaving them staring after him.   
  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Seifer returned to the only place he knew to go, the pier. He knew he'd only find trouble there, but he really had *nowhere* else to go.  
  
He sat down where he had the night before and stared out at the water. He couldn't stay in Balamb anymore. He'd get a train ticket  
and leave for Dollet first thing in the morning. At least Jordyn was there.   
  
Sure enough, he was only sitting there for maybe five minutes, when he heard a voice behind him. "Well, lookie who's still here.   
Guess ya didn't learn your lesson last night, did ya?"   
  
Seifer turned to face his attacker. It was the same guy. Except now he had about three others with him. *Great*  
  
Seifer said nothing, just closed his eyes, letting his mind wander.   
  
"Hey, I'm talking to you, punk!" the man cried angrily, grabbing Seifer by his collar and forcing him up, "You stupid or something?"   
  
"Or something.." Seifer answered quietly.   
  
The man's eyes blazed. "You just don't learn, do ya?"   
  
"Apperantly not.."   
  
"That's it.. we'll teach you for *sure* this time."   
  
The man raised his hand, fist clenched and Seifer closed his eyes, waiting for the first blow to come. But, it never did. He heard a  
shout and the man let go of his collar.   
  
Seifer opened his eyes slowly, his mouth dropping open at the sight that was in front of him. Zell was fighting off Seifer's attackers,  
one by one. Why, was Zell helping *him*?  
  
After a few moments, they were all on the ground in a bloodied mess. "C'mon," Zell growled, grabbing Seifer by his arm and   
practically dragging him away, "Let's get out of here."   
  
Zell took Seifer to the only place he knew he could safely that was close by. Zell opened the door to his house and  
escorted Seifer to the couch, where the scarred blonde slumped down wearily.   
  
Zell sat down beside him, the two of them staring at each other, not saying a word.   
  
"What was *that* all about?" Seifer asked, breaking the silence.   
  
Zell shook his head, "I couldn't just stand there and let them beat your ass.. but why weren't you going to fight back?"  
  
Seifer laughed bitterly, "What's the point in fighting back? I learned to just take it a long time ago.."  
  
Zell studied Seifer carefully, "Then, I take it, this sort of thing happens *alot* to you."   
  
"Oh c'mon! What'd you think? That you and your little friends were the *only* ones that hate me?"   
  
"I told you.. we don't hate you."   
  
"Mmmmhmmm..." Seifer didn't look convinced.   
  
Zell sighed, "Man, you confuse me.."   
  
Seifer raised an eyebrow, "How's that, Dincht?"   
  
Zell put his head in his hands, peering intently at Seifer, "Sometimes, you act like a complete ass and others.. I could  
swear you're almost human.."   
  
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"   
  
"No, it's supposed to be the truth.. what is up with you anyways?"   
  
"Nothing.." Seifer said quietly, fumbling unsurely to his feet. "Look, I should go, O.K.?"  
  
Zell stood up and gently pushed Seifer back down, "You *don't* have to go anywhere."  
  
"What's the point in staying here? Honestly?"   
  
Zell's look remained blank, "Where else do you *have* to go?"   
  
Seifer waved his hand, as if dismissing Zell, "Ahhh.. I'm going to just go back to Dollet.. at least one person there doesn't cringe or get  
pissed when they see me."   
  
"Dollet? You've been staying there?"   
  
Seifer shook his head, "No, I just go there from time to time.. for moral support.."   
  
"You have a *girlfriend* there?" Zell asked, honestly curious.   
  
Seifer laughed, "Jordyn? A girlfriend? Nah, she'd probably kill you just to hear you suggest that."   
  
"Why do you say that?"   
  
Seifer looked at Zell for a second, then back down at the ground, "'Cuz Jordyn's the only friend I have.. plus.. she's *not* that way.."   
  
"Ohhhh..." Zell's voice filled with understanding.   
  
"Ahhh, what does it matter, anyways? What about you, Dincht? You got a girlfriend?"   
  
Zell just stared at the wall, seemingly contemplating something. "You know something, Seifer? You're not such a bad guy afterall."   
  
"How'd you come to that conclusion?"   
  
"'Cuz we've actually been having a *conversation* for over fifteen minutes now.."   
  
Seifer looked surprised at the realization, then quickly composed himself, his normal smug grin returning to his face, "Ahhhh.. don't get used to  
it."  
  
Zell smiled faintly, "What are your plans now?"   
  
"I *told* you, I'm going to head back to Dollet first thing tomorrow."   
  
"Why so soon?"   
  
Seifer scratched the back of his neck, "What reason do I have to stay?"   
  
Zell shrugged and studied his shoelaces, "Say... why didn't you ever come back to Garden?"   
  
Seifer looked bewildered, "Garden? Do you honestly think they'd want me *there* after everything I've done? Get real, chicken-wuss!"   
  
Zell rolled his eyes, "You give yourself *too* much credit. Not *everyone* hates you. I'm sure Headmaster Cid would take you back."   
  
"And just what makes you think this?"   
  
Zell's voice was soft, "Because I asked him.."   
  
Seifer's mouth dropped open, "Why would you do a thing like that?"   
  
Zell shrugged again, "I dunno.. I was jes' thinkin' about how much you loved Garden.. it's everyone's life.. ya know?"  
  
Seifer nodded and exhaled heavily, "Yeah.. I *do* miss the place.."   
  
Zells glance was hopeful, "So.. why don't you come back?"  
  
Seifer shook his head, "I went there.. earlier today.. ran into Quistis, Squall and Selphie.. it'd just be too ackward.."   
  
"Nonsense!" Zell cried, "Sure, it'd be a little weird at first, but everyone would adjust."   
  
Seifer sighed and leaned back on the couch, "No one should have to adjust for me..."   
  
"Pssshhhttt.."   
  
"Although.. I would *like* to come back... it'd be nice..." Seifer mused.   
  
Zell saw his chance and took it, "Well, then, we'll go there first thing in the morning and get you re-enrolled!"   
  
Seifer laughed, "Why are you so eager to have me back there, Dincht?"   
  
Zell blushed. Why? Simple, because he had long ago fallen for the scarred, angry blonde. Not that he'd *ever* tell Seifer this or anyone else.   
"Ahhh.. I don't know."   
  
Seifer peered intently at the blushing SeeD, "I think you do.."   
  
Zell shook his head furiously, "No! Not a clue!"   
  
Seifer laughed, "Hey.. you never answered my question earlier..."  
  
"Huh?"   
  
"About having a girlfriend?"   
  
"Oh, yeah, that one.. no.. no girlfriend.."   
  
Seifer raised an eyebrow, "And *why* not?"   
  
Zell shrugged. 'Because I've only thought of you since I was about 10', he thought to himself.   
  
"Whaaa?" Seifer looked surprised, his mouth agape. "What'd you just say?!"   
  
Zell went into complete shock when he realized he had spoken aloud, "Uhhhhhhhh........." he stammered, "I.. I, uh, didn't, uh, say, um...   
anything?"   
  
"Liar! You said that it was because you've only thought of me since you were about 10."   
  
The blood rushed to Zell's face, "You're hearing things, Seifer!" his voice was insistant, pleading.   
  
"Hmmmm...." Seifer studied him for a second, "Zell?"   
  
".....yeah?" Zell's voice was timid.   
  
The next thing Zell knew, Seifer's lips were on his, devouring him hungrily.   
  
It took Zell only a moment to realize what was happening. He quickly wrapped his arms around the older man and drug him closer to Zell,   
fiercely kissing him back.   
  
They broke apart then and stared at each other.   
  
"Maybe I will come back to Garden..."   
  
"Yeah..." Zell's voice was quiet.   
  
Seifer tried to stifle a yawn, which Zell caught anyway. "Tired?"   
  
Seifer glanced sideways at Zell, "Yeah, actually.. exhausted.."   
  
"C'mon, let's go get some sleep.." Zell led Seifer up to his room, taking his hand and leading him to the bed. Seifer lied down and Zell lied  
down beside him. Seifer's arm went instinctively around Zell, who cuddled up to Seifer, his head on his chest.   
  
"Seifer?" Zell asked drowsily.   
  
"Hmmmm?" Seifer's eyes were closed.   
  
"Why'd you kiss me?" It was an honest question. He was curious.   
  
"'Cuz I like you, too, Dincht.. always have.. that's why I teased you *so* much.." Seifer mumbled.   
  
Zell smiled to himself and moved closer to the sleeping blonde.   
  
That night, Seifer didn't have any nightmares. His sleep was peaceful and he didn't wake up once. In the morning, he knew that *everything*   
would be O.K. He had finally found someone. Someone who didn't hate him and loved him for him. Jordyn would be proud of him. He would  
call her from Garden later on today and let her know the news. She would laugh at him and simply say, "Cool, babe." as she always did. Seifer  
was no longer afraid of being alone. He knew that Zell would *never* let him be alone again.  
  
  
  
  
+Bleehhh, whatcha think? It's so damn lonnnnnggg. ^_^ Just a note to tell everyone I won't be able to update my stories for at *least* a week  
or two. Wednesday I'm going into the hospital to have my labour induced. I'll *try* to add another chapter to The Life of Love and Dreams  
Revisited, but no promises. I'm also gonna start working on a Selphie fic, so read it sometime, whenever I get it posted. ^_^ Cookies to those  
who review, as always. 


End file.
